i don't know why. but i still think i'm lack of sth ard me. >< oh no.

i've given up already since the day that happened, there is no reason for me to be tolerant or to even bring joy because i'm just being a fool doing that. I kept getting myself reprimanded and got myself black face in and out of the house. for what? i call i get scolded by both sides. i still haven't given up initially but when the day came that you still don't give in and wanted your way. i got scolded and i promised to myself i'll never ever get scolded for this kinda things anymore.




Oh yes.. before i forget thanks rose and william for the surprise b'day cake i'm still dumbfounded abt it. really stunned ( by the way, tt's my first ever surprise b'day cake from a friend arigato) will don't be angry anymore ok? everyone understands now. and thanks alot for making the atmosphere a whole lot better wif jokes and rose for talking to befriending everyone. see.. so don't do this. don't be pissed okies? both of you so angry one. middle ppl gets crushed *dies.

All:
Another night, another day
What can I say
You're still the same old brand new you
You break your promises in two
What can I do
When you're the same old brand new you

All:
You'll change
You'll never change
You're never never gonna keep your promises

You'll change
You'll never change
You're never never gonna keep your promises

Christian:
Because of you
I guess we're through
Is this the way it has to be
I've been a fool (Ben- I've been a fool)
A fool for you (Ben- A fool for you)
But I've got better things to do than Let you walk all over me

All:
Same old lie, one more time
Say you're gonna be, there for me
Say you'll change, change your ways
Never gonna keep your promises
Same old game (Ben- You know it doesn't turn me on)
Brand new day (Ben- You're singing that same old song)
No more lies (Ben- If you don't wanna find me gone, gone,
gone, gone, gone)

i wish i never felt the pains you gave me.
i wish i could just let it out. i wish i was more blunt.
i wish i was never friendly. i wish i could disappear.
i wish you could mean what you say.
i wish i never got hurt and that i had a metallic heart.
i wish i knew what true friends meant before meeting you so i could tell if you treated me like one.
i wish i wasn't taken advantage of.
i wish i wasn't so stupid.
i wish my dad wouldn't be so generous.
i wish i was more hard working and don't need to rely on friends because when i needed help you said you were busy.
i wish i was more understood. (i knew i made e promise to come early but i was running a fever and i vomitted e whole night, before i left the house i had to run to toilet to vomit) but when i came. no questions made, no nthing but a black face given. i felt hurt and giddy but i was told off, when i explain you still didn't care much.
i wish i didn't rush to arrange things for my friends.
i wish i didn't give in so much. not so much in fact always except once or twice.
i wish i never ever had any celebration for my birthday
i wish i never hurt another person's feelings and neglected her for you.i'm sry jie.
i wish i was not so blinded.
i wish i would forget that terrible day of my life.
i wish i wld really forget these things

ooh well i'm okays now..^^
i just wish i'll never think about it again X_X

ytd i went to dinner at chinatown wif the young leaders ppl. interesting.... i was quite playful. i whispered to geraldine dat this guy reminds me of the white chick dat guy who is super muscular and he was chasing one of the "girls", den when he went to collect an award, ger say joyceee!!! your guy! i started laughing lke anything. The lady next to me was quite friendly she shook my hand n wish me merry christmas so i started talking to her.. AFTER a gd long talk den i found out that! she was wedded to that "white chick" guy! omg! i was lke OH MY TIAN!

den i found out that he is np primers BB captain! wahh i tell you i nearly fainted. he was my captain i NEVER KNEW IT!!! after i told ger she was lke ah?! i still say so loud dat he's your man when e wife is beside youU!!!..

HAHAHA! wad a joke.

monday:
I went to buy paint after which i went to church to attend mass for my parent's anniversary.

In e bus i called ash, he told me he was in PS and asked me where i was, i said oh i'm in orchard den suddenly he ask me if i wanted to go watch movie. i was so stunned i was lke AH!? now?! haha anyway my dad say yes surprisingly so i went to watch it wif them. Till now i'm nt sure wad's e title of the show sia la. i jus noe it's a japanese movie and it's nice and touching! haha! thx ash for the movie treat ^^v

ytd i was painting my room for such a long timeeee.. SRY EST! sry john!!! i realllyyyyy cmi for the penitential service. ZzzZzzz.. heh hehx. *ps look.

mmm let me think wad has been going on in my life tt's interesting to share.

Mmmm one gd news. ATTACHMENT IS OVER! oooh my gdness.. it's been a LONG TWO WEEKS i had there. geee wad else..i can't think. i'm so dead tired hahaa...

OH OH OH! i met the fanclub members and printed quite a number of photos! hahaha! oh yeah i got a new bed, new FREE laptop, new fan... cos mine broke down due to e fact that i used it for YEARS haha.. and there was a great sale at habourfront. gonna get new paint to paint my room GOSH! a ROOM MAKEOVER! whee! oh yeah my ROOM is MUCH spacious now ahaha! i rearranged it liao. Those who hasn't been to my room for a long time will see tt he has changed alot! if my table and cupboards weren't fixed to the ground i'd hv changed its position too. Mmm wad else.. my parents anniversary today, celebrated ytd. Wad else...oh ya my room walls look real pathetic right now.. so frustrating.. my darling niece hv a few drawings on it. ahhh wad else. .. ahh nvm i'll update again LOL

hahaha! hey ... everyone KILL him!!! disinfect the AREA before i.. ermmm nvm LOL! hahaha =X tt guy ahh super darn irrritating persistent desperate la. omg i read another conversation OMG! he's freaking despo! ..

YOU MORON! LEAVE PPL ALONE MAN.

ass..

i tell u. u'll be lke e first person i curse if i cld.

>< AGRHHH@ HOW CAN ANYONE BE THAT ANNOYING! hey don't u girls think so? OMG he's hitting on everyone.. u noeee! OMGGG! AGRHHH! DAT ..stupid AGRHHH!

tt... bloody moron. i wonder if he's dere to like sing or to .. oh i'm sry he can't sing. i mean i wonder if he's dere to like .. be a display thing (ooh i'm sry neither is he gd for visual entertainment.. but he's definitely an eye sore) do u noe he doesn't stop looking at girls... AGRH!! omg can't he jus look at his scores. OMG OMG OMG.. not tt he needs to cos he doesn't need to play much or sing at all.. but still! KEEP UR EYES TO URSELF! omg... i feel lke throwing him over e loft

OH PLS! you're lke super immature la! u're too young for everyone ESP ME! i'm older den u.. although u look older den me by probably 10yrs or sth. STOP BUGGING US! for gdnesss sake.. you lao ti ko.

AGRH!
anyway i learnt how to ride a bike! my mum bought a bicycle and i rode ard just now (at 9pm) i didn't fall once! tt's becos i brake as soon as i was gg too LOL! hahaha! anyway i can ride fairly well..

AS WELL AS JOEL CAN SKATE ^^V wahahaha!

anywayyyy... wad else to write.. oh yeahh i am horning my skills for badminton. after 2mths.. u'll see.. A DIFFERENT KILLER JOYCE!! wahhaa!
>< i'm so into sports now.. but i'm still eating more den ever, i always say i'll go on diet but.. >< wad happens? NTHING CHANGED i'm still short too. but i grew slightly! realli!

okays i'll update as much as i can.

darn... why muz this happen to me. i'm still waiting..

ahhhhhhhh!!!! dat nincompoop!
AGRHHH! i think i'm catching a fever.. my immunity ain't gd right now and i think my attachment ward is a hot spot.. my whole face is flushed.. dunno wif anger or cos i think i'm getting sick... oh dearie me.. wad a nice time to be sick..

AGRH! I WANNA GET AWAY FROM THERE!!!
GOSH! can't someone kick him...

some ppl jus think that they live too long on earth n wld wish to end their lives as soon as possible in the most effective way... by...

ppl dun get hints.. some! most! ahh dunno la.

OMG!.. shameless! after carrying out ur stupid plan, u still have e cheeks to ...
OOH! all that nerves...
i so feel like throwing the person down e toilet bowl and set e pants on fire. this is called THICK SKIN! and pls la...

nobody ask you along and den u expect free... (plus if you realised, the GIRLS are avoiding you and yet you still.. -.-" )

OMG! KELLIN! Why do you do this to us?!?!?!?!!?!
i'd rather you give that ticket to like.. dat annoying lady from our choir.. OMG!!!! KELLIN!.... john wanted to go why did you jus hand it to him!?

AGRHH!H!H!H!!! i'm gg nuts!
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INFURIATED!

today's real tiring boy.

I'll start wif wad happened on friday. Firstly in e morning, 11am meeting wl and gt at tpc to go ben's hse for b'day celebration. i cldn't make it for party at night (due to movie maraton and i had to do pros too). zzz! then after dat we played badminton in whampoa cc.

At about 5-6pm i met char, shuping, geraldine and shirley rushed through NR. 7pm plus walked over to LT 26 for movie maraton. wahhh i tell u, i was darn on for the first couple of movies, when it hits 2am.. my eyes.. were shutting down, my head was nodding. so i took out my pillow and... SLEEP! mine was winnie e pooh. aey you'll be surprised! there were another two girls bringing tigger and eeyore cushions too.

Anyway den met ben in e morning (cos i left my bag in his hse) den went home... once my head touched my pillow. i slept lke dere was no tml and guess wad? i TOTALLY FORGOT ABT MY AMBASSADORS DUTY! .. so shitty.. i had headache for half a day..

den went to j8 to finish off all the haagen daz vouchers. oh my! i'm getting fat! haha! jk.